I feel so lost without you,
but I feel that I don't need you.
Sometimes I think I love you,
but maybe I'm better without you.

My heart's torn into pieces,
It feels like I've lost my senses.
Turning around in circles,
wishing for a miracle

Falling a thousand feet per second
You still take me by surprise
I just know we can't be over
I can see it in your eyes
Making every kind of silence
Takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over
And never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall
Even if you said I was wrong

I'm not perfect
But I keep trying
Cause that's what I said
I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely
So please don't leave
Was it something I said
Or just my personality

Making every kind of silence
It takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over
And never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall
Even if you said I was wrong

I know that I'm not perfect
But I keep trying
Cause that's what I said
I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely
So please don't leave
Was it something I said
Or just my personality

When you're caught in a lie
And you've got nothing to hide
When you've got nowhere to run
And you've got nothing inside
It tears right through me
You thought that you knew me
You thought that you knew

I'm not perfect
But I keep trying
Cause that's what I said
I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely
So please don't leave
Was it something I said
Or just my personality

I'm not perfect
But I keep trying
Cause that's what I said
I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely
So please don't leave
Was it something I said
Or just my, just my
Self, just myself
Myself, just myself

I'm not perfect
But I keep trying

WOW, it's been ages since I've posted ANYTHING in this blog, I even had to reset the password. I dont believe how fast life has caught up with me, I havent had the time to sit down and think about things, what im doing, until things had gotten to this stage..

I guess, Aaron and I, in some ways, we were meant to be together. It's that gut feeling of mine that's so strong, I just know it. I'd be gutted if we didn't end up together. Yet, we nearly did, and I cant believe it ended up at this stage, and it was mainly my fault :( for being so annoyingly stubborn and terrible.. and fussy.. I just wish I was more easy going, more accepting of things in general, and maybe a little happier in life.

I think that people in a relationship should be committed, but I cannot say that they HAVE to. They want to (naturally) when they really love the other person, and that they'll do things out of love, out of feelings, and out of care and concern. It's not something that you'll remember to do just for the sake of doing things, it's the emotions behind everything that drives me to continue this relationship.. So it's because of my way of thinking, that we had a fight :( it just seems to me that you didn't care, and no matter how many times you say I love you and I'll never let you go, and don't give up on us.. it means nothing to me, because through your actions, I feel like you dont care anymore :( and mind you, that's just my way of thinking, yes you may think it's screwed up. I think it's too simple, and I've learnt my lesson. Sometimes in life, you cant expect to always feel love, theres panic, there's stress, there's excitement, there's friendship.. and love isn't always there. Actually what i meant was, love isn't always the main thing, it's always there I'm sure, but it isn't always in the foreground of thoughts. So maybe, while you're hanging out with your friends, distracted in the army, stressed out having no time to call, I guess love kinda found itself sitting in the backseat, like watching the movie of your life roll past.. please dont do this to me okay? I love you so much, you're the star of my life, I dont want to be in the backseat, watching your life go past.. I want to be up there with you, helping you make the movie of your life.

I love you aaron, always will.

Some things are just meant to be,
This love between you and me.
This maybe, could be fate
cause you feel like my soulmate.

A <3 C

love is like a song
sung deeply from the heart
it takes so long
to one day master this fine art

somedays i really wish you were here with me.. yet if you arent here i get to live my life.. i get to do my own things, i get to play frisbee, i get to hang out with my friends, watch movies, live the "single life".. but no matter how satisfied i am with the turnout of all these events in my life, the key thing is.. youre still not here with me :( and i cant fully enjoy my life to the same extent as if you were here with me :(

Hope that one day when youre here with me we can do all these amazing things together..

Love you aaron =)

SO its been a great week at Perth.. BUT the 2 weeks before in Melbourne was equally awesome,

There was rock climbing, horse riding, (nothing at the front of the trip cause princess didnt get up) HAHA. lets see.. what else, princess type stuff! =) hahaha.. oh i clearly remember the KFC deal.. HAAHAHAH someone got stuck up there for quite some time, AND having to get me and edmund some awesome popcorn chicken =) Horse riding was pretty fun, went down to the beach for a nice trot and damm the stupid canter haha.. and on the way back was 30 awesome things :P baby can you remember them? HHAHA, i wont be surprised we actually still remember them haha =)

Lets see what else was there.. 2 awesome baking sessions in a DAY, chocolate souffle and a chocolate cake hHAAHA =) yum yum! :P and cooking lunch, slacking around at home, going for badminton, playing frisbee, hockey, edmunds gold medal =) haha.. well.. 2 weeks seem to fly by so fast, from the day we met at the airport, till our lunch, and then slacking at home, buying groceries.. now im left in sydney alone :( oh well.. i miss you baby :(

Week after Melbourne was Perth, mm it was pretty good, first night wasnt that great though, got some shitty hotel in perth city, dodgy.. but the next day was getting better, we went to freemantle.. beach, we chucked abhi into the waters =P hAHAH.. and then we had a quick lunch at the markets, then checked in, grocery shopping, bought chicken honey soy etc for dinner, potatoes, onion yum yum! after dinner was kanga court =P HAHA.. Jack had to wear a tutu =) HEHE. for being a party pooper.. well i got it the next night, but it was effing scratchy seriously.. grrr.. hhaha.. and then i got the tiara for being a princess the following night >< Sheesh..

First day at perth: pretty awesome games, we defeated 3 teams, MUD, ECU and ACPE. though the acpe game was pretty wasted >< no point going all the way to perth to play their team.. what a waste of time.. sheeshsss First night party was the best actually, went out with the whole team to paramount, had a pretty fun night dancing, clubbing etc.. came home at 1am, crashed.

Second days game was okay, we played Adelaide UNi, lost that one, but won the curtin uni game.. again, another waste of time playing curtin.. no challenge, no adrenaline.. sheesh :( didnt party that night, legs were sore, and i slept at 830 =P hehe

Third day we had a close game with flinders uni, my awesome layout catch =) and breaking the zone.. through the cup cross field =)=) hehe.. We played QUT in the morning. kinda waste of time AGAIN >< sheesh.. its like 3 good teams, the rest are like.. no point playing.. grr.... DInner was really awesome, we had a BBQ =) hehee..

Fourth day was semis, we lost to AU, and fifth day was placings we won MUD for a bronze medal =P and a MVP for meeee =) yippeee! :P

SO pretty much, thats it for my 3 weeks off.. time to get motivated, start studying.. haha =P

I miss you baby :(

No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance.

No one stays in love by chance, it is by work.

And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice.

I wanna be with you forever, that's my choice.