No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance.

No one stays in love by chance, it is by work.

And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice.

I wanna be with you forever, that's my choice.

The world seems the same, i just shifted my vision from something so beautiful into the dullest and darkest side of the world, and my tears just keep rolling.. its still the same place im in.. still pretty much the same things im doing, just looking down into the other side and i cant stop crying :(

I went to see Liz Tancred today, and was reminded of all the shitty things in my life, about my mum and my dad.. why the hell would i wanna think of that.. i was gonna be a pretty decent monday.. and now. idno.. the shittest monday on earth :(

I kinda dont wanna go back for one class, just to be defiant.. afterall i am gonna quit med eventually right.. so why keep studying, why put it all the effort for ONE class.. siggh.. fail then fail lor...

Hey baby, dont know if you're on or not, I am gonna play frisbee! yay! we have a decent turnout today.. looks like it =) hehe still trying to convince deb to come =) she seems to be working realllly hard LOL >< im still stuck on my assignment, hopefully finish by tonight, so tmr can go out and PLAYY! dammit... this course looks so empty.. but got SO much work >< and my assignment keeps creeping over the wordcount.. so stupidddd! >< GRR >< im done referencing, but still need to do search strategy, statement of modification etc.. just cause this is a negotiated assignment GRRR!!! im gonna tear my hair out already >< sheeshhh.... soo many lectures piling up too!! LOL i understand why deb doesnt wanna go =) but still.. heh.. mmm im gonna enjoy myself tonight! =)=) hehe okay i ll email you tonight then fatty =)

With lots of love -C

for you to argue. ;)

Now it's down to number three,
It's important so listen closely.
'Cause You and Me it'll always be,
Forever endlessly, A ♥ C.

♪♫
"If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you

If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you

And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
You're all I need
My love, my valentine"~
♪♫

P.S. I was missing you soo much when suddenly this song started playing :) perfect lyrics. Loving you always, my darling valentine ♥

Yay, things are getting back to normal, im slowly catching up with work, working throughout the week.. usually i dont do that, work only on saturdays, one day per week enough to clear a whole weeks worth of work.. not anymore, working super hard to try to get good grades.. well now im extremely happy with them.. but apparently not happy enough for some people :( siggh the world is so hard to please.. MAN! :(

Sigh, tmr another long day, got hospital 1230, lects till 11am, ccs 2-5.. no break in between hosp and ccs.. though it ll be good practise to talk to more patients.. reckon this tutor is pretty good =) mm.. so far im gettin quite comfy talking to patients, usually i nearly shit myself hAHHAH.. now its okay, and im getting better at taking bp too!! =D very accurate now =)=) hehe seems like i still enjoy being a doctor, i enjoy what i study.. so yeah.. i guess i really wanna stick with it.. its just that bit inbetween when i know that everything might just disappear, might as well do something that i can confirm finish.. well.. people take risks right? everyday, in the morning, waking up facing the day is a risk.. drinking, drugs are all risks. Doing medicine is a risk for me too.. putting in so much hard work, and not knowing at the day if i ll finish it or not.. sigghhh... :(:(:(

On a higher note, baby is coming to melbourne! =D IM SOO EXCITED!! >< you better train me up for frisbee i tell you, if i turn into a fat pig before uni games, i will SOOO KILL YOU! >< unigames is like the HIGHLIGHT of my year, the only thing tahts keeping me going here.. well frisbee in general is.. mm and its damm exp and i really wanna play well =) cause then i can make my other goals come true too! nationals =) and regionals next year.. haha.. =D regionals are very likely.. nationals.. well... we shall see =D=D im waiting for my soccer boots to come in.. heh heh.. =D=D

Mm.. finished my lecture for tonight, took me 3 hours to do it >< gawwdd talking to you, talking to another friend, and facebook, dl the game.. listening to music.. lol all distractions.. HAHA.. mm.. i cant wait to see you baby =D but i aint looking forward to NS.. you know when something's flying too fast into your face eg. frisbee disc, you tend to go backwards, shuffle back, and try to hope that it slows down.. same thing with your ns.. its flying at me so fast, another 5 more months.. and then 2 years of not seeing you.. sometimes i kinda think of backing out.. hoping that it will lessen the impact when it hits me.. and i fail to catch it.. or live with it.. it ll knock me over pretty bad :( and i cant imagine what its like for you.. cheryl seems to be dying already.. HAHAA ><

Mm.. i guess when things come, we shall have to deal with them one by one eyy.. =P like where im gonna be next year for starters.. and then where YOURE gonna be after ns.. then the whole NS thing.. GRRR >< stupid singapore.. add that to the pile of reasons why i hate singapore.. because they are taking my bf away from me :(:( for 2 years.. :(:( BUT! they are turning him into a total HUNK! =D heh! yippee! so i guess thanks?? LOL =P

haha okay its wayyyy past bedtime.. i SHOULD sleep.. =D

I love my fatty teddy =)

-C

Siggh, I hug teddy to sleep every night, hoping that he might somehow fill this emptyness in my heart.. up to now, i have always pretended that was the case, but now, i don't think that can happen anymore, i miss you too much :(:( Yesterday talking to you so much, felt like you were so close to me once again, and today, yeah.. the back to being alone feeling is hitting me again.. well i gotta stay strong, its been a week since i saw that psych and i havent cried.. doesnt mean im feeling better though.. still feeling as shitty.. oh well :(
-C

Nothing can get me down, im flying high on top of the world!! yay!!! im soo happy today.. happy to get out running, happy to get some sunshine.. happy to just be in my life right now.. its so great.. and why am i complaining about everything just a week ago.. because well now theres a way out, there always IS gonna be a way outta everything.. its just up to me to find it.. =)=)

Baby, only one thing i haven't found a way out, is how to cheat myself of my own emotions and not face up to the truth that 6 months from now, we re gonna be apart for so long, yet deep in my heart i wanna just keep telling myself you ll always be there.. we ll always love each other =) which IS true btw.. haha..mm.. doesnt make a difference whether youre here anot.. i ll pretend to psychic with you about 6000 km s away.. =)

Love you nut.