WOW, it's been ages since I've posted ANYTHING in this blog, I even had to reset the password. I dont believe how fast life has caught up with me, I havent had the time to sit down and think about things, what im doing, until things had gotten to this stage..

I guess, Aaron and I, in some ways, we were meant to be together. It's that gut feeling of mine that's so strong, I just know it. I'd be gutted if we didn't end up together. Yet, we nearly did, and I cant believe it ended up at this stage, and it was mainly my fault :( for being so annoyingly stubborn and terrible.. and fussy.. I just wish I was more easy going, more accepting of things in general, and maybe a little happier in life.

I think that people in a relationship should be committed, but I cannot say that they HAVE to. They want to (naturally) when they really love the other person, and that they'll do things out of love, out of feelings, and out of care and concern. It's not something that you'll remember to do just for the sake of doing things, it's the emotions behind everything that drives me to continue this relationship.. So it's because of my way of thinking, that we had a fight :( it just seems to me that you didn't care, and no matter how many times you say I love you and I'll never let you go, and don't give up on us.. it means nothing to me, because through your actions, I feel like you dont care anymore :( and mind you, that's just my way of thinking, yes you may think it's screwed up. I think it's too simple, and I've learnt my lesson. Sometimes in life, you cant expect to always feel love, theres panic, there's stress, there's excitement, there's friendship.. and love isn't always there. Actually what i meant was, love isn't always the main thing, it's always there I'm sure, but it isn't always in the foreground of thoughts. So maybe, while you're hanging out with your friends, distracted in the army, stressed out having no time to call, I guess love kinda found itself sitting in the backseat, like watching the movie of your life roll past.. please dont do this to me okay? I love you so much, you're the star of my life, I dont want to be in the backseat, watching your life go past.. I want to be up there with you, helping you make the movie of your life.

I love you aaron, always will.

Some things are just meant to be,
This love between you and me.
This maybe, could be fate
cause you feel like my soulmate.

A <3 C